A Beginner’s Guide to Male Sex Toys

1What are sex toys for men, and what do they actually do?

Sex toys for men are body-safe devices designed to add or change sensation, either on your own or with a partner. The four types you will meet most often in the UK are strokers, rings, prostate massagers and pumps, and each one does a distinctly different job.

None of them require experience, technique or a particular kind of body. A stroker changes texture and grip. A ring changes how firmness feels and how long it lasts. A prostate massager reaches an internal area that responds to steady pressure. A pump uses gentle suction to change sensation temporarily.

If this is your first time looking at any of this, our Sex Toys for Beginners: The Complete UK Starter Guide covers the shared basics — materials, charging, washing — that apply across every category below. This guide picks up where that one leaves off.

Everything here assumes you are starting from zero. No vocabulary is taken for granted, and nothing below is a hint that anything is wrong with you.

2Why does buying one still feel awkward, and does it need to?

It feels awkward because of one old and fairly lazy idea: that a man using a toy must be compensating for something. That idea does not survive five minutes of honest thought.

Toys are equipment. A stroker says as much about your life as a foam roller says about your fitness. People use them out of curiosity, for variety, because a partner works away, because a partner is right there and enjoys it, or simply because it feels good.

The second sticking point is the buying itself. Plain packaging, a discreet billing descriptor and reading a guide instead of asking someone across a counter solve most of that. It is also worth knowing How We Test and Choose the Products We Stock before you spend anything at all.

The third is talking about it, and you may never need to. Plenty of people keep this entirely private. If you would rather not, there is a section at the end of this guide, plus A Beginner’s Guide to Couples’ Toys.

3Strokers, rings, prostate massagers and pumps: what does each one do?

Strokers add texture and grip, rings support firmness, prostate massagers apply pressure to an internal area, and pumps create gentle suction. Which one you start with depends entirely on what you are curious about, not on what is considered advanced.

Strokers, also listed as sleeves

A stroker is a soft sleeve — usually silicone or a stretchy skin-like blend — that you hold and move by hand. Open-ended designs rinse out more easily; closed-ended designs create more suction.

They suit almost everyone as a first purchase because there is nothing to learn. Manual versions cost the least, while rechargeable ones add vibration or automated movement. Strokers are designed to be used with a water-based lubricant, and that matters more here than in any other category, because texture without lubricant is just friction.

Rings

A ring is worn snugly and gently limits blood flow while it is on, which many men find makes firmness feel fuller and last a little longer. Stretchy silicone is the sensible starting point; rigid metal rings are for people who already know their sizing.

Some rings include a small motor, which turns a solo item into a shared one. Follow the wear time in the instructions — most set a maximum of around 20 minutes — and take it off immediately if anything feels numb, cold or uncomfortable.

Prostate massagers

A prostate massager is a curved internal toy shaped to apply steady pressure to the prostate, a small gland sitting a few centimetres inside. Curiosity is the only qualification, and using one says nothing about your orientation.

The one non-negotiable is the base: anything used internally must have a flared or looped base that stays outside the body. Start with the slimmest option you can find, go far more slowly than feels necessary, and use plenty of water-based lubricant. If the idea appeals but you would rather begin externally, How to Use a Wand Vibrator is a gentler entry point.

Pumps

A pump is a cylinder with a hand or electric pump attached, creating gentle suction that produces a temporary change in sensation and appearance. Temporary is the key word — treat any promise of permanent change as a reason to close the tab.

Look for a quick-release valve so you can stop instantly, and follow the session times in the instructions rather than pushing further. If you take blood-thinning medication, have a bleeding condition, or you have noticed a persistent change in firmness, speak to your GP before using one. It is a routine conversation for them and worth having.

4Which type suits you? A side-by-side comparison

Most men should start with a stroker or a stretchy ring, because both are inexpensive, forgiving and need no technique at all. The table below sets the four types against each other so you can see where you fit.

Type	What it changes	Tends to suit	Worth knowing first
Stroker	Texture, grip and suction	Anyone buying their first toy	Needs water-based lubricant; open-ended designs are easier to rinse
Ring	Firmness and how long it lasts	Solo or shared use; couples especially	Follow the stated wear time, usually around 20 minutes; start stretchy, not rigid
Prostate massager	Internal pressure and sensation	The curious, at any experience level	Must have a flared or looped base; slim first, patience second
Pump	Sensation through gentle suction	People who enjoy suction sensations	Effects are temporary; check with your GP if you take blood thinners

If two of them appeal, start with the cheaper one. Our budget-friendly first buys exist precisely so that a first experiment costs less than a takeaway, and you can always browse what we stock by type once you have narrowed it down. The mid-range picks under £50 are where stronger rechargeable motors start to appear.

5How do you choose your first one?

Choose on four things, in this order: material, power source, noise and price. Everything else — colour, packaging, marketing language — is decoration.

Which materials are worth paying for?

Non-porous materials, chiefly silicone and hard ABS plastic, are the ones to look for, because they wash properly and do not hold moisture in the surface. Cheaper porous-material toys, such as soft jelly-style blends and unbranded skin-like plastics, absorb residue that washing cannot fully remove, which shortens their usable life considerably.

Every listing we publish states the material, and the checks we run before anything joins the range explains what we look at before a product goes on sale. The same logic applies across every category, which is why How to Choose Your First Dildo spends so much time on materials too.

Rechargeable or battery-powered?

Rechargeable is the better buy for anything with a motor. USB charging saves you hunting for AAA batteries, and rechargeable models are usually sealed more thoroughly, which makes rinsing them safer. A basic battery bullet is a fine, low-cost first taste of vibration, but the motor is weaker and the battery compartment is normally the part that fails first.

How quiet does it need to be?

In a flat or a shared house, quiet often matters more than power. Where a manufacturer publishes a figure, something around 45dB is roughly the level of a quiet conversation, which is a sensible benchmark. A motorised toy also sounds quieter under a duvet than it does resting on a hard surface.

What should a first one cost?

You do not need to spend much to find out what you like. A manual stroker or a stretchy ring sits right at the bottom of the range, and The Best First Sex Toys Under £30 is written for exactly this stage. Once you know your preferences, The Best Sex Toys Under £50 covers where better silicone and rechargeable motors begin.

If you would rather see everything at once, the full range can be filtered by type and by price band.

6How do you use one for the first time?

Slowly, privately, with more time than you think you need and no expectations attached. The most common first-time mistake is treating a new toy as a test to pass rather than something to explore.

Charge it fully before the first session, because a motor at half charge is weaker and gives a misleading impression. Wash it before first use as well — new items come off a production line, not out of a sterile field.

Use more water-based lubricant than feels necessary. Water-based is the safe default with silicone, because silicone lubricant can react with a silicone surface over time and leave it tacky.

Start on the lowest setting and work upwards. Strong settings early tend to overwhelm rather than impress, and you learn far more from the bottom of the range than the top.

Give anything new two or three sessions before you judge it. First attempts are usually about logistics rather than sensation. Our beginner explainers and starter guide to first toys cover the same ground for other categories if you branch out later.

7How do you clean and store it?

Warm water and a plain, unperfumed soap straight after use, then complete air-drying before it goes away. That is the whole routine for non-porous silicone and ABS.

A few specifics are worth knowing. Turn open-ended sleeves inside out where the design allows, so the textured surface actually gets cleaned. Never boil or dishwash anything containing a motor or a battery, and check the water-resistance rating before you hold anything under a running tap.

For storage, keep silicone items from pressing against one another, because silicone surfaces can react and leave marks over time. A drawer with dividers, or the box the item arrived in, does the job perfectly well.

Never share an internal toy between people without washing it thoroughly first. If you want the wider version of these rules, there are more getting started guides covering care across every material we stock.

8What if you want to bring a partner into it?

Say it plainly, early, and somewhere other than the bedroom. Framing it as curiosity rather than dissatisfaction removes almost all of the tension from the conversation before it starts.

Rings and prostate massagers translate most naturally into shared use, and a vibrating ring is genuinely designed for two people rather than repurposed for them. Our guide to toys designed for two people goes through the options in detail.

It also works in both directions. If your partner already uses something, learning their equipment is a fair trade — our wand technique guide is a straightforward place to begin. When you are both ready to choose something together, everything we currently stock is organised by type, price and material.

Frequently asked questions