How We Test and Choose the Products We Stock
By Jessica · Founder · Last updated
Every product we stock goes through the same four stages — a material and construction check, a hands-on functional test, a written specification record, and a final decision made by me. No brand can pay for a recommendation, and we publish numbers rather than adjectives.
- We assess every product in the same order: materials and construction, hands-on functional testing, a written specification record, then a final yes or no decided in-house.
- Our body-safe policy is about non-porous surfaces that can be cleaned properly, which is why we describe the actual named material of each part rather than using vague reassurance.
- We only state that a product carries a certification when the manufacturer has supplied documentation naming that exact certification for that exact product.
- No brand can pay, gift or commission its way into a recommendation, a ranking position or a review score on this site.
- When we weigh up options we compare our own products against a generic category, never against a named rival retailer or brand.
- We make no medical or therapeutic claims, and we point readers towards their GP or a sexual health service whenever a question genuinely touches on health.
1How we review sex toys: the short version
How we review sex toys is deliberately unglamorous: a material and construction check, a hands-on functional test, a written specification record, then a final yes or no made by me. No brand can buy that yes, and no supplier sees a guide before it publishes.
I’m Jessica, and I started PurePleasure because most UK product pages tell you almost nothing useful. A colour, a price, three flattering adjectives, and no idea how loud something is or how long it takes to charge.
So the rule I set at the beginning still holds. If I can’t describe a product precisely enough for you to picture it in your hand, it doesn’t get listed, and it doesn’t get recommended in guides like Sex Toys for Beginners: The Complete UK Starter Guide.
That’s the whole method. The rest of this page explains each stage, including the things we deliberately refuse to say.
2What does “body-safe material” actually mean?
Body-safe, in practice, means a non-porous surface that can be cleaned thoroughly and won’t break down against skin — most often solid silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass or stainless steel. Porous materials can’t be fully cleaned, so we don’t stock them.
Why non-porous is the dividing line
A porous material has microscopic openings running into it. Warm water and mild unscented soap pass over the surface rather than through it, so residue stays where it is. A non-porous surface rinses completely clean and dries in minutes.
What we will and won’t say about certification
We state a certification only when the manufacturer has supplied documentation naming that exact certification for that exact product. UKCA marking, for instance, indicates that a product meets Great Britain’s regulatory requirements — but explaining what a mark means is not the same as claiming one of ours carries it, and we never blur those two things together.
Where a supplier can’t or won’t provide paperwork, we describe the material plainly instead: “solid silicone body, ABS plastic base”. Specific and checkable beats impressive-sounding every time. You’ll see the same plain-spec approach in How to Choose Your First Dildo.
3How do we test a product in practice?
Testing follows a fixed checklist of the things you can’t learn from a photograph: noise, charging behaviour, controls, weight and how easily it cleans. Each result is recorded as a number or a plain description, not a score out of five.
Noise
We measure with a sound meter at 30cm on the highest setting, in a quiet room. Ordinary conversation sits at roughly 60dB, so anything under 45dB is genuinely discreet in a flat with thin walls. We publish the figure and the distance, because a decibel reading without a distance is meaningless.
Charging and run time
We charge from flat and time it, then run the product on a middle setting until it stops. Both numbers go on the page. Magnetic charging contacts get an extra check: do they stay put when the cable is nudged, or does it wake up uncharged?
Controls, comfort and cleaning
Buttons get pressed with damp hands, because that’s real life. We note whether the settings cycle in one direction only, whether there’s a quick route back to off, and whether the seams sit flat — a raised seam ridge is a comfort issue and we say so. We also look for grooves that trap residue; anything that can’t be rinsed clean under a running tap is a mark against it.
4How do our product notes compare with a standard online listing?
The difference is specificity. A typical listing describes a product in adjectives; our notes give you figures you can check against your own home and your own hand. Here is the same imaginary rechargeable wand, described both ways.
| What you want to know | A typical online listing | Our product notes |
|---|---|---|
| Noise | “Whisper-quiet” | Measured at 30cm on the top setting and published as a decibel figure with the distance stated |
| Battery | “Long-lasting rechargeable” | Charge time from flat and run time on a middle setting, both in minutes |
| Material | “Premium silky material” | The named material of each part, such as a solid silicone body with an ABS plastic base |
| Size | “Compact and travel-friendly” | Total length, widest point and weight in grams |
| Water resistance | “Waterproof” | The manufacturer’s stated rating, or “splashproof — rinse the body, keep the charging port dry” where no rating is supplied |
| Certification | Vague reassurance | Stated only where documentation naming it exists; otherwise left out entirely |
Neither column is lying. Only one of them tells you whether it will wake your flatmate. That right-hand approach runs through our round-up of the best options under £50 and its cheaper companion, the best first buys under £30.
5Can a brand pay to be recommended here?
No. We don’t accept payment, free stock or commission in exchange for a recommendation, a ranking position or a review score. There is no sponsored slot on this site.
We do have a commercial relationship with everything we recommend, and it’s an obvious one: PurePleasure sells it. That’s the disclosure at the foot of every guide, and it’s the honest part — we’ve never pretended to be a neutral third party.
Here’s what that means for you in practice. When we weigh options up, we compare our own products against a generic category — an unbranded mains-powered wand, a basic battery bullet, a cheaper porous-material toy. We don’t name rival retailers and we don’t rubbish anyone else’s stock. It isn’t our place, and a comparison against a whole category is more useful to you anyway. The same principle shapes our beginner’s guide to male sex toys.
6Who writes these guides, and how are they kept current?
I write or edit every guide on this site personally, and each one is checked against a fixed editorial standard before it goes live. Nothing here is generated and published unread.
The rules I write to
- Answer the question in the first two sentences, then explain it.
- Assume no prior knowledge, and never make the reader feel behind.
- Name a credible source, or write it as experience rather than as fact.
- No statistics without a source — no invented customer counts, no “most UK couples”.
- Update the page when a product changes, rather than leaving an old specification standing.
Guides get revisited when a supplier changes a component, when a reader tells us something doesn’t match what arrived, or roughly once a year. A technique piece such as How to Use a Wand Vibrator ages slowly. A price-led list ages quickly, so it’s checked far more often.
7What we refuse to claim — and where to go instead
We make no medical or therapeutic claims, because we’re a shop and a guide, not a clinic. You won’t read here that a product treats anything, improves your sleep or lowers stress, because we can’t evidence any of it.
What we can describe is experience: what something feels like to hold, how heavy it is, whether the vibration reads as buzzy on the surface or deeper and duller. That’s honest, and it’s usually what you wanted to know anyway.
If something you’re experiencing feels like a health question — pain, discomfort, a change that worries you, or anything involving medication or a recent procedure — please speak to your GP or a sexual health service. They have information and context we simply don’t.
Otherwise, take your time with more getting started guides or browse the full range, and use the specification notes as they’re meant to be used: as a way of narrowing things down before you spend anything.
Find the one that suits you
Body-safe, beautifully discreet, and chosen with care.
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Frequently asked questions
Do you actually test the sex toys you review?
Yes. Every product we stock is handled and run through the same checklist: noise measured at 30cm, charge time from flat, run time on a middle setting, weight, seam quality and how easily it rinses clean. Those figures go straight onto the product page. If we haven't tested something ourselves, we don't recommend it.
Does a brand pay to appear in your guides?
No. We take no payment, free stock or commission in return for a recommendation, a ranking or a score, and there is no sponsored placement anywhere on the site. We do sell what we recommend, which is disclosed at the foot of every guide. That commercial relationship is the only one we have.
How do you know whether something is body-safe?
We look at the material and the surface. Non-porous materials such as solid silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass and stainless steel can be cleaned thoroughly, so those are what we stock. We name the material of each part rather than using vague phrasing, and we only mention a certification when the manufacturer has supplied documentation naming it.
Why don't your reviews mention health benefits?
Because we can't evidence them, and pretending otherwise would be dishonest. We describe experience instead — weight, texture, whether vibration feels surface-level or deeper — which is checkable and genuinely useful. If a question touches on your health, such as pain or a recent procedure, please speak to your GP or a sexual health service instead.
Do you compare your products against other retailers?
Never by name. When we weigh up options, we compare our own products against a generic alternative — an unbranded mains wand, a basic battery bullet, a cheaper porous-material toy. Comparing against a whole category tells you what actually differs, and it keeps us out of the business of running other companies down.
What happens if a product turns out not to suit me?
Get in touch and tell us, honestly. Feedback that a product doesn't match its description is the single most useful thing we receive, and it triggers a re-check of the listing. For hygiene reasons, returns on intimate products are limited by law once seals are broken, so our returns page sets out exactly where you stand.
Jessica
Jessica founded PurePleasure to make shopping for intimate wellbeing feel calm, discreet and genuinely helpful. She leads the brand’s body-safe-first approach and hand-picks every product in the range for skin-safe materials, plain packaging and quiet, thoughtful design. She writes and reviews our guides from real, hands-on knowledge of what we sell — never as medical advice. Where a question touches on health, she will always point you to your GP. All guides by Jessica →